Chapter 43 opens with a soliloquy by the Underground Man. The Underground Man says that he and his friends are here because they want to be in the band. He's not sure why they're here, but he's sure that they've earned their way into the band by having fun. He asks if they are "an underworld god" , and says that they can do whatever they want with their time. He also says that his friends treat people like meat, and that's why they have to follow Laura's plan. He says that the whole hivemind broadcast was a mistake, because it fooled him to hope, and more fool him to doubt his friends. He wonders if jealousy or envy is what's keeping them in the club. He tells us that he has a secret that he doesn't tell anyone, and he says that when he gets older, he'll have to sacrifice himself to start the story of godhood. He wants to show that there's a way to "defeat death" . But he knows that the new children aren't here yet, so he'd need to sacrifice his life for the sake of the story. He adds that his sister has found a story she calls "godhood," and that he thinks himself a "shit" who needs to be tattooed with his scripture. He knows that he would need to "sacrifice the door to some of eternity" if he wanted to start this story, but that he can't do it now, because his friends have already died. He thinks that Laura sold them